"Kaushik one day your goodness will drown you"
-A very wise man who knows me and is known by the name of Gautam Dhameja.
WARNING: The following post contains convoluted self-analysis.. it is a cruel dissection with no rona-gaana about wicked fate and evil people. You may waste your time reading this as i am wasting time writing it! ;) okkk that last line i was just kidding!
As I rushed to meet my friend Gautam in Noida for a urgent crisis for which the clock was ticking faster than Bolt runs his sprints. I tried to be a good samartian and helped a passer-by in which as usual i made a fool of myself. (don't investigate further details its my blog and i ain't gonna tell :) )
I narrated the incident to Dhameja and he offered me the golden words of wisdom-
"Kaushik ek din teri achchai tjhe le doobegi"
Then a thought process complicated than a chain reaction and more explosive than the anti-matter ( just finished Angels and Demons) started in my head. It's proven beyond doubt that the "seedha-saadha" Parv Kaushik has always suffered in the face of "tez-tarrar" people. People often tend to confuse kindness with weakness ( yes i stole it from Swordfish when John Travolta says it to Hugh Jackman)
The seedha-saadha aadmi (SSA- THE SPECIES I CONSIDER I BELONG TO) is almost extinct now. It does not even figures in the endangered species list. Probably SSA is going to be in the next issue of 'Lost Species Of 21st century'. The characteristics of the SSA species are as follows:
1. These species carry a malfunctioning hereditary DNA of imaandaari "honesty" in them.
2. They are genuinely nice to everybody and fail to prioritize their behaviour in relation to the returns expected from other members of other species. (I call it 'selective affability')
3. These species as predicted by Gautam Buddha speak the truth and live the condemned life. They walk on the path of the truth and pay for it- Buddha.
4.They can easily be trapped and fooled once you present a rosy picture and behave nicely. SSA's are easily trusting hence the annihilation of the species.
5. Docile species rarely reacts even when it sees it is being harmed. People often see it as SSA's foolishness. ( which I'm afraid we are - foolish)
6.Will always fail in business bcuz thy will be too shy to ask for their own money.
etc. etc. etc.
Since I'm currently reading "The Curious Case Of Dog In The Night-time" by Mark Haddon let me analyse my kryptonite (seedhapan) the way the lead character Christopher would. Let me like Kaavya Vishwanathan's Opel Mehta chalk out steps to end my kryptonite and enter into the skin of normal human species to survive.....
WAIT.. WAIT.. WAIT..
DO I REALLY WANT TO?
Let me get this straight. I touch my heart and i ask myself... If I want to change? Can i change? I think the world is full of smart and over-smart people. It's OK being a fool. It's OK to trust people even when you know they don't deserve it. Trusting is important, people are not. A clean heart and a clean conscience is all i have and perhaps all i need. I look around at the insanity around me lifestyle addiction, politics, jealously, hatred, anger. I'm happy being a kid in adults world.
Yes I'm an SSA but yes i can say with my held held high that there ain't no person whom i cannot look into the eyes. Believe me I can. I did commit mistakes i did disappoint people but in my heart i know I'm pure. Let me suffer it's OK but somewhere deep down inside i know when Dhameja sleeps tonight he'll know they are still nice people around. There are people ain't mad after money, sex, power, fame.
I don't know how many would have left before reading and comprehending any of this stuff. At last i don't think i can change. Its a handicap may be. But if you ask my heart I'll happily renounce the material world for a clear conscience before i die if that's the price for it. May be I'll survive in this jungle may be i wont but i want to sleep tonight peacefully.