कोशिश करने वालों की- हरिवंशराय बच्चन

लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती।

नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है।
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है।
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती।

डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है।
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में।
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती।

असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो।
जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम।
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती।

Two Nomads

Two of us, in the rain

Stood together

As if,

Bonded by tears

Bonded by smears

Enslaved

Confined

Shackled

In this so-called institution

Of marriage

What was love once

Now feels like

Capital Punishment

There's no hate just

Boredom,

Life's no thrill just

Linear Motion

The Hurricane of love

Which took us

Heaven,

The dust of it

Settled

There's no hurricane, just

Whiff.

Stand we two

Overbored

Underamused

In face of each other

Empty

Void

Trivial

Weak

All of the stuff

Too blinded by love

To see, To feel

No contempt though

Just Bored.

Bored by reality

Fascinated once by

Love Illusions 

Nasty Delusions

Oue own Seclusion

But,

Let's begin

Once more

Like we first met

And were struck

By Hurricane.

p.s. just for the record i aint married not even close to the posibility of it any time now... the poem was inspired by a married couple i saw at a multiplex sum time ago, they seemed so bored of each other, so much so that they didnt even feel like talking to one another. i dont know much about what to say, i just know that its a sad thing to happen to anybody.

Abhinav Bindra

A bespectacled millionaire

A Golden Gun

A Proud Nation

An Immortal Glory

A laser beam focus

A rock solid determination

To scale new heights

Never scaled by any

Of the billion children

Born on this land.

The grandeur shot

A moment of honour

An overdose of fame

Praise, splendour, nobleness

Hides the

Pain, struggle, labor

You gave up everything

For Gun

For Shooting

You sacrificed the material

No fear

No distraction

Just a single aim

Numero Uno spot

The tricolour in Beijing

Was grateful

For finally one of it's son

Made it Touch The Sky

A triumphant Jana-Gana-Mana

Never felt so arrogant

To honour the gold-winner

Such Integrity, Such Discipline

The nation was spellbound

Too elated to speak

The Nation bows with

Tears of joy.

For you, our hero.

i waited for the hoo-haa around Abhinav Bindra to die so i can post his poem... the media has other news and beijing mania has died too but AB will be in history books forever..

IF MY LIFE WERE A MOVIE

If your life were a movie right now, what celebrity would get the lead role and what type of movie would it be? A drama? Documentary? Comedy? Science Fiction? Action? Thriller?

If my life, right now, were a movie it would be a Thriller, definitely a Thriller! 21 years since i joined the human race ... 2 decades of infinite entertainment to everyone who has ever been related to me in any way... First things first Akshay Kumar would definitely play the lead role ( Himesh? wht say?? do u mind ? lol!) and you know it would be nuthing less than a Priyadarshan's comedy flick!!

Cast: Akshay Kumar(me) , Jaya Bachchan(mumma) , Sushmita Sen (best friend) , Amrish Puri (dad *hehe!).

Plot: There's one dude who refuses to grow up.... his quirks his pranks and his spiritual quest to find the ultimate truth in life!! He is the plot, he is not only a protagonist but also "the situation"!

Kaushik has only one aim in life- to live "on the edge".. right on the top of cliff end. Only a rush of adrenaline can fit his definition of life... Kaushik is living life on the fast lane an it has is consequences... he is struck by lightning not once but twice.. 

How these two incidents shape up his life and philosophy... how these incidents challenge the validity of everything he hold on to.. strap on your seat belts... his journey has just become yours!

Orphan

Then I was just a

Victim of the streets

Now, Here I stand

Ruling the streets

I'm on a wild wild

Killing Spree

Giving back to society

What it gave to me

Holy hate

Now everybody's fate

Is in my hands

And this gun on your head

Deserted and dumped

On birth

I was society's burden

And responsibility

Instead I was

Abused and ignored

Now nobody dare

Overhear my call

Then, streets owned me

Now I stand here

Owner of these streets

Hungry and isolated

As a little kid

I learned by cognition

All wicked ways of

This cruel society

I didn't matter

Till I became a thorn

Better bow in respect

Or salute in fear

Call me a devil's heir

But better behave 

When I'm near.

Then, I screamed

And wailed for Help

Society is deaf, I learned

Now, they listen

For their life depends

On my every word

A Student of

Misery and poverty

Now Teacher of

Hatred and violence

You'll pay too

There's enough

Rage inside me.

MindGame

Everyday a million thoughts arise
For desires aplenty my mind cries
Illusions and delusions blind the eye
Through five senses its Maya in disguise
The cravings of Mind never end
Greed fills the heart of all on land
Face the valleys to reach the peaks
Conquering Mind is not an attribute of weak

Water cannot be split in two
Hope is Mind, Mind is Hope's duet
Active thinking the mind never rests
So many worries burneth the chest
Running in circles worry never ceases
Future or Past is where the mind is
Feeding on the bitter regrets of past
Reservoir of memories seem so vast

Watch! the Mind its subtle way
Dreams it weaves night and day
Soon the truth will unfurl
Tho' it shock you like whirl
Face it! The real will turn to unreal
Have the courage don't slip to fear
A new light on your eyes will dawn
Lord Shiva bless you with Moksha

Chritian Dior

All we want is Chritian Dior
Armani i have enuf i still want more
Gucci is what separates me and my foes
My personal invitation from Hilfiger at door
I am good enuf i dont need Giovani to roar
My style statement is a popular lore
I am the best, i am here to soar
My thoughts are capitalist to the core
I have a heart of Swarovski for sure
My feet only with Reebok hit the floor
I sweat it out for Nike its so pure
My breaths happen when Van Heusen is close
I am sold out to grand Materialistic show
My life's measured in Brands, i'm so whore.

untitled

untitled my life fades
unheard my voice fetters
lost in millions
costing in penny
untitled my life fades

utopian visions i once had
life has crushed 'em all
sweet dreams now
ugly thorns
life has crushed 'em all.

Veer Savarkar- The Hero

this post has been removed

Touch The Sky

I want to touch the sky
Talk with clouds
Share some secret of mine
Sing with birds
And hear them cry
Dance with God
Imbibe his vibes of might.

I want to touch the sky
Glance at earth below
A whole plantation of misery and lies
The sky's so pure
With innocence, no child can defy
Such immense splendour
No riches dare to scale it's heights.

I want to touch the sky
Listen to the wind
For they tell me it's wise
Fight with gale
It's some adventure in disguise
Aim for stars
For i still have miles to see.

Foolish Wisdom

My life is a jigsaw puzzle
Breaking free of the muzzle
Sitting alone with a zen-like calm
Destruction and demise in my palm.

Love is close, so is hate
Root deep mates, split in vain
I take refuge in Ignorance
Freedom calls with its fragnance.

More to come, more to depart
Makes no sense my wild wild heart
Life is a flux i have realised
Be a fool, there's nothing in being wise.

There's no point in point of view
Mystery around i have no clue
Dont be a slave, be a lover
Be it winter, spring or summer.

Unsung Hero

Lonely boulevard greets the unsung hero

Walking alone he accepts the silent applause

His feats had matched that of Gods

His courage made demons tremor

Only heavens witnessed the triumph of his spirit

His story is an epic untold and forgotten

Sky and earth- the mute spectators will recall

How a man once proved himself a MAN

All his glory will just be a memory

Evanescent fairy tale buried in Silence

Lonely boulevard greets the unsung hero

Unhealed wounds scream his grandeur

For once the mighty Sun bowed in respect

Flowers paid homage by blooming his way

The unsung hero of ours accepts his Fate

http://sify.com/news/imagegallery/galleryDetail.php?hcategory=14684615&hgallery=14740539

Cost Of Education

The Ragamuffin boy

Picks up my study book

And attempts

To understand the alphabets

And decipher the figures

Education for him

Is a distant destination

Some fairy land description

Can you feel him?

Such helplessness and

Hopelessness of a destitute

Stripped by destiny

Robbed by fate

Is being poor here

The biggest crime?

His is just another life

Wasted.

above pic taken by me in Sec 18 Noida, the street kid was watching television from the window of a popular eatery.

Stars Are Scars

The stars above high and migh

Are nothing but tears of the sky

Alone it stands, alone it cries

Nobody to live for, for whom can it die?

Loneliness so vast even bird's cant deny

Standing alone, in a corner, quietly it sighs

Million tears to decorate still we think it smiles!

Dusk

As the sun bids us farewell
Crimpson coloured sky echoes its glory
Subtle breeze melt my heart
A snag rolls down my cheek
Hedonism is your new religion
Innocence- your only disposition
Amnesia is your new malady
Knowledge and Memories- a distant melody
Trees are greener than ever
Ranting their euphoric lustre
First few stars dot the sky
Red sky dissapears hiding as a lie
Some artist painted a moon so bright
This ain't myth, it's the beginning of night.

Podium

Every day I triumph, Every day I climb
Every day I pour everything into my rhyme

Every day I find success in there lines

Every day the world stands up for me

Standing Ovation

The podium is my only destination
They've coronated me Numereo Uno

I ain't second to none, you know

Always led the rank and files
Born to reign and to rise

Speaking truth in web of lies

I'm used to walking on peaks
Impossible is nothing

This is my education, my only seek.

Mountain View

Another day,another night

Have no reasons to fight

So many people,so many complains

Keep your words dont make me insane

Rain or sunshine treading the miles

Never cheering the laughter or cries

Silently waiting with a zen-like calm

My mind is parroting a rant

Neither hope nor motivation
Let me be my own inspiration
No road-maps no place to go

Just that i want to roar.

Why am i running this race

Ain't got any saving grace

There's a cliff here is me

Let me climb for a view to see.

Star in the making...

Thats real crazy man..... m sitting on my laptop and i discover this tiny little dot called web-cam which i had never ever used so i got my act together... and here's a clip which can definitelt win me an Oscar! Is Ram Gopal Verma looking? u knw i can play the next lead role in any of his movie..... or may be mahesh bhatt!!! u knw a struggling and a talented actor is waiting in line to be a mega star.... m so humble!!!! sometimes i envy myself for my exemplary humility.... Sigh.. Sigh..

Disposition

This sadness, this madness
My empty Mind

My ill-disposition

I run, search in vain

The answers

My Mind's transfixed

The tears never come

My eyes remain dry

They bleed inside

Trade my madness

Cure my sadness

Can you?

Wise words, do you know?

My rage, my cage

Whey love feels like hate?

Call me saint

Call me fool

I dont care for your version

I laugh at my misery

I cry at my fortune

I really dont mind me

And you shouldn't too

Leave me here

Alone and confused

Wounded

My scars, my trophies

United i fall

Alone i fly

For your love

It makes me bleed

I realise my lack

Let me dissapear

Dont debate, its too late.

p.s. photo taken by me near the ISKCON temple, Nehru Place New Delhi.

SELF-HELP TERROIST GUIDE>>>>>>>>

INTRODUCTION
A terrorist was actually a fictional character created by the American government in 1949 to help Russian schoolchildren cross the road safely. Terrorists came into life, turned out to be crazy, completely nuts, and acted as US supported nukes against the Soviet(for a while). Later (after watching the movie Frankenstein) they turned against the US. Still later, they turned against everyone else in the world including their wives, parents, and pet puppies.

DISAMBIGUATION
Terrorists are not to be confused with tourists. You can negotiate with a terrorist.

IDENTIFICATION
One can easily recognize them by their beard, “do-it-urself” suicide vest kit, the towel on their head, (which they use in emergency situations such as unavailability of toilet paper) and an AK47. Some say “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter”. That’s completely true as long as the other man is a lameass terrorist himself.

Here are some ways to identify them at different places:

In the loo—If you find an unflushed potty or if you smell sweat mixed with ElPaso perfume, then be careful, there might be one around.

In the metro trains—If you find an abandoned piece of luggage, run for you life, don’t try to be a hero unless you work with the bomb squad.

In Hyderebad(India)—If you bump into a guy, beware.. there is a (very)small chance that he may not be a terrorist.

If you are scared, they already won, because the very essence of terrorism is creating terror. Activities and hobbies keep changing as randomly as the dollar-yen relation and the Fijian government, but mostly they are more or less as follows:
--Driving airplanes into buildings
--Digging burros near mountains
--Driving panzers into houses
--Forgetting suitcases in airports (u know what suitcases)
--Claiming responsibility for any explosion caused anywhere
--Shouting “JIHAD” (whatever the hell it may mean)
--Getting caught
--Committing suicide

PERSONAL TOUCH
Name: Terrorist
Father: Sam...( 'Uncle Sam' that is)
Mother: N.Korea
Birthplace: Afghanistan
Religion: Haha... u gotto be kidding
Sex: hardly once a year
Marital Status: married 14 times and still looking
Children: So many

Koi tan dukhi.koi mann dukhi;

Koi dhan bin rahat udaas;

Thode thode sab dukhi;

Ek sukhi Ram ka dass.

I Melt

I Melt

I don't know you and me

There's only exist exist a 'we'

Where do 'you' begin and 'I' end?

I Melt

Don't know what I should name this

But this is what becoming one is

Sealed by a kiss

I Melt

Am I you or are you me?

Am I sane or is this insanity?

Illusions of egos and personality.

I Melt

Like colours mingle and concieve

You and me have become one to recieve

A union of souls for heavens to see.

Little Kid And Frog

A little Frog leaps and jumps

The little kid runs and chases

The frog is no longer a frog

Frog is an event, an occasion

A celebration

A happening

For me the frog is still a frog

But for the new kid, his new eyes

The unadulterated mind

Celebrates the existence of frog

And through his eyes

I re-discover the frog

Like I once did

When I was as new as this kid

Radhe-Radhe

Will surfing through i found this exceptionally elegant and beautiful potrait of Radha with Shri Krishna in the background. I am spellbound by the potrait and hope you will admire it too so without much words I will let it speak for itself.

It's been a hard days night!!

Today maybe a just another day but lemme summarize it hoping to make sense of the stuff around. OK here we go …………. Today was the first day I missed my French classes, though not intentionally but mom asked me to put up at home bcuz there was other serious business around. Sigh sigh … I guess it was the first time in my entire life that some class has received so much of attendance by me I was eager to attend every single class before the conclusion of the course.

I Googled around about anti-Christ and trust me I couldn’t stop amusing myself of the funny theories Christians have developed and come to believe that one day “Rapture” would happen. The world is waiting eagerly for the coming of an anti-Christ . . . . Who can believe such stuff???

I also read about Che Guevera my new Hero my new obsession. Amongst the many things I read about him I was very pleased to read about the fact that his school mates used to call him "Chancho" ("pig") because he rarely bathed, something he was rather proud of. What equally struck me was he read the poetry of Pablo Neruda and also wrote poetry (both of the qualities shared with me). He developed an interest in photography so have I. Had I been close we would have been buddies.

All my photographic content is on the net now on www.Flickr.com. I had left the content as it is without modification only to return later with broadband connection. On my visit today I was surprised to see that many people had actually some to my account viewed my pics!!! Man this is encouraging stuff!!! Since I’ve not tagged my photos it’s difficult for an unknown user to find a way to my pics but some definitely have.

Also I added a YouTube link on my blog on the post I wrote in the morning sadly me myself cannot see it due to dial-up connection hope my broadband counterparts will.

To end the chronicles of today’s post lemme tell ya Star Movies must be showing John Travolta starrer Phenomenon which I cannot see bcuz my mom is watching those stupid ad-infinitum soap operas I hope it all ends soon and I can catch the rest of the movie……. Go Mom Go!!!!!!!

Beyone+Shakira = !@#$%&*

TV is a luxury I can afford only at home not at hostel. Since I’ve been home music channel have been playing “Beautiful Liar” by Beyonce feat. Shakira. It was difficult for me to imagine how two singers from such a diverse music style can collaborate. It’s interesting to see how two singers with different styles can come together and produce something as good as "beautiful liar" both vocally and visually. The music video virtually is a visual delight.

The alliance of Beyone and Shakira about a two timing boyfriend is appealing they are both dating the same man but instead of going after each other they leave him alone. The sexy dance moves are alluring enough to keep the attention of male viewers away from drifting. It’s interesting to note how two gifted dancers synergize to create something as spectacular as this music video.

Throughout the music video is mostly dark and smoky providing somewhat a mysterious viewing experience. The music video depicts Beyonce and Shakira both as tough and elegant women. That's a great combination. They are surrounded by smoke water and dark clouds depicting I guess the shadowy state of mind the two women are going through. I can watch the music video multiple times and not get bored.

C’mon its Beyonce and Shakira what else can somebody crave for? As for me I’m hooked.




Beautiful Liar lyrics

Che Guevera

Hey Teacher, Leave the kids alone!

Teachers are a rare entity to be loved especially by me. I have all my life been a teacher’s headache; I was the reason for her Disprins. They loved me they hated me some even loved to hate me but in my entire schooling career I was never ignored. Nobody could. Things may be a little different in college here just the other day I was thinking if teachers had served any meaningful purpose in my life except being an object of my mockery and contempt. I finally came up with a list of 4 teachers who DID made a difference in my life and whom I still remember and adore.

Roy Solomon Sir: He was my history teacher in class 9th but I was in contact with him till my class 12th. He was more of a friend to me than a teacher. He had an incredible sense of humor and his talks were deeper only if you could listen carefully. It was a bit of a surprise to me when he met me at examination center of an engineering entrance exam and treated me the same way he always did: by hitting hardly on my back.

McFarland Sir: There has never been anybody like him and never will anybody be like him. He was my English teacher in class 10th. He is currently one of the most loved teachers of the city. I never could outwit him neither could I guess the amount of mammoth knowledge he had. An absolutely incredible communication skill was not the only reason he was so popular he really really listened to you when you spoke. No wonder everyday after class there were always a bunch of kids discussing all their life’s problems with him.

Brijesh Sir: He was my mathematics teacher in class 9th I don’t particularly like math’s teachers but I would here make an exception. Mr. Brijesh was held in awe and respect by all of us. He knew everything about everything he knew why in school we had 2 generators, why was the grass in lawn of particular length, why were our periods of particular duration, why we had earthquakes, why we had mucous membranes in our nose………. Get an idea. Once our English teacher asked us to mimic other teachers. I presented perfect mimicry of Brijesh Sir later to which he remarked “Parv, bahut acchi acting kar lete hai aap…….. It seems to me you are a very good observer.” The best compliment I’ve ever received.

Bhoomika Ma’am: She was my class teacher in class 5th and the amazing thing was that I was as tall as her. Bhoomika ma’am back then when I was still a small kid trusted me. The word TRUST was known to me but it was because of her I came to know what it felt like to be trusted. She gave me enough responsibility and somehow because of her I was such a responsible kid. Sadly I never met her again after she left the school.

This is what i call Electric SHOCK.

Man if I did something really commendable in life was that I didn’t take Electrical Engineering…………………………. Boy the last semester was Satan’s special gift to me I guess. Two “BIJLI” subjects Electrical and Electronics.

Electronics was about semi-conductors……..my ass. MOSFET, hybrid parameters and crap like that 5 units to go. Though the paper my relatively easy and I did know the answers so I’ll say “All’s well that ends well.”. Considering that my result is still to be declared I’ll reserve my words. PNP and NPN transistors and amplifiers…………..my ass.

Electrical ……believe me I would’ve burned the college down if this was my subject for four years. Worse than the Nazi concentration camp, Electrical classes were a complete torture. Bloody Thevnin, Norton and Superposition Theorems ……………………….. Aggggggghhhhhhhhhh. I still have no idea what they were all about. Generators Motors Transformers………..AC machines DC machines…………… contemplating suicide wasn’t all that meaningless.

Alexander The Great said “Hard work Conquers all.” Really ?

"The Chronicile Of Brahmin Warrior"

I really don't know but something certainly has happened to me but something sure has. It starts with composing poems which i posted on this blog and strangely enjoyed writing them too! That's not all recently i read a story written by a teenager on his blog, thoughtfully inspired and extremely motivated i started on an adventurous journey of writing a novel.( i hate novels in fact i hate fiction......... strange isn't it?)

The official launch will be notified to all my near and dear ones. Copyrights law will as usual be applicable. Movie rights will be sold to the highest bidder. Publishers are requested to come only with an all-cash deal only. Distribution rights in Europe, America, Australia will also be given to the highest bidder only ......................i hope to outsell The Harry Potter............................ phew!

You must award my optimism because the above paragraph was written AFTER i forced my friend to read the first few pages. He read the first page looked up and said "Second page too??"

So to all my die-hard loyalists here's a glimpse...... the story is set in ancient India and where religion plays an important role. The main protagonist ( i spelled it right................may be???) is a teenage Brahmin girl who is a scion of a big priest family and is gifted with special powers. Its called "The Chronicile Of Brahmin Warrior".

Launching ceremony in Frankfurt Book Fair later this year my Indian fans will have to wait!!!! Meanwhile i coax my friend to force him through next page....................

I Live For Pleasure.

I live for pleasure, I do things for pleasure. My work is not a means to an end my work is an end in itself. I’m not running in a rat-race, no I don’t want to be the Numero Uno, no I don’t want to big build castles or have the largest bank balance. I ain’t chasing big ambitions I ain’t dying to get famous. My accomplishments didn’t change society neither do I think they ever will. No my salary won’t make headlines neither will I be page 3 celebrity.

I am my own fate. I am a law unto myself.

This is my life I am living it one moment at a time. This moment, as I write this article, this moment is all that matters, neither do I think about the past nor am I dreaming about the future. You are what you are and what happens just happens.

I am my own brand I am my own idol.

Do not make a mirage out of happiness. Happiness is HERE NOW. All the time we are constantly treading a path called life and whose destination is “happiness”. All the time you are thinking when I do this I will be happy. If I get this I will be happy. Happiness for you is somewhere in the future but sadly it never comes. It’s like waiting till eternity.

The law of the Tao is its being what it is.
-Lao Tzu.

Bonjour Monsieur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I’ve going to this French classes for about a week now and to tell ya I’m loving it!!!!!!!!! The institute is called IFLAPS (Institute of foreign languages and professional studies). Our batch has 8 students (Including a girl who has attended just one class so she may or may not join) I have had a talk with 2 people only and both of them are really nice persons.

Tarun is doing some Hotel Management course and Parul is studying in some engineering college in Gr. Noida (that’s pretty close….lol). Her college has some unpronounceable name and I don’t think I’ll be able to spell it to so leave it to” some college”. So it was funny to talk about that “pari chowk” “gamma market” “knowledge park”!!!!!!!!!

If you didn’t notice Tarun was mentioned about in only one line while Parul took the rest of the paragraph...............Men will be Men.

French is an exceptionally easy language if only you put a little mind to it. It’s fabulous to speak and easy to pick-on. I only had a week classes and time permits me to attend the classes for about a month or so more only (3rd SEM begins August 1). So I hope that I’ll be able to pick enuf of it to be able to converse smoothly.

In case you were wondering why on earth did I join the “French” classes why not German and this and that let me tell ya I live for pleasure I do things for pleasure. In the long run I aim to be a polyglot I’m starting with French because I wanted to……… no, no software companies are looking for French learned people. No French MNC’s are opening there offices here I’m doing it because I feel like doing it.

That’s it, that’s me.

My Room My World

I've living in my room for so much time now that i guess i have grown attached to it. The same walls the same windows have seen me and i've seen them. Don’t think i'm insane but it's my pretty little cave i take refuge in. This pretty room of mine is my world. Leave me in and don’t bother me i'm in my own proper atmosphere.

Sometimes i guess i have been developing anti-social tendencies…hey I ain’t a nerd but I ain’t happy surrounded by too many people either it’s difficult for me to hold long conversations cuz often enough I slip back mentally into my own mental state.

Back to the room it’s sad I live in hostel now I really miss my room so much I’m so “attached” to it kinda feels awkward to be there between a new set of parallel walls but then they are what they are: Walls.

But maybe it’s good I guess. I don’t keep memories in my mind I have absolutely no use of the past as I leave my little cave all that “has been” no longer exists for me now. New rooms mean the independence to start all over again. Its like facing a blank page you have the independence now to write a new story........... in that case it's a blessing.

Currently on my Desk:

Right now as i enjoy my stay at home before the starting of the next semester there's been a lot of time with me. I fortunately had a lot of time to read so here are a few of the books i wish to tell ya i was going thro' they are a mix breed i would say but that's alright.......nevermind:

1.Forrest Gump by Winston Groom: I read Da Vinci Code before i watched the movie and this was the book i read after i watched the movie (starring Tom Hanks). I guess movie was somehow better than the book maybe because i knew beforehand what was going to happen so it kinda took the thrill out of the book.

2.One Night@Call Centre by Chetan Bhagat: Man this was a complete torture to tell ya i couldn't complete the book. Ihad to force myself thro' the book and that "Love Story" really made me fell like chooping Chetan Bhagat to pieces. This was my first encounter with Chetan Bhagat and yes the last one!

3.Holy War Inc. by Peter L. Bergen- This is my darling. Its written by a CNN journalist who interviewed Osama binLaden. The book documents the life of the most famous terrorist of our times and his group Al-Queda. What i liked most about the book was even tho' it's written by an American it presents an unbiased view of everything. I'm loving it.

4.Whey Men Lie And Women Cry by Allan and Barbara Pease: I found this one with one of my friend and it really amuses me to think that a book written on such a common issue as on the differences in male and female personality and their mindset can be so revealing and fun-packed. Men have been hunters since eons and developed mindset akin to their job. Women nurtured and raised family and so their mindset. Gotcha?

5.A Treasure Of Great Poems: This one is hard bound and is thicker than any other book i have read or even thought of reading. Anyway as it turns out it has a collection of poems from almost all major poets and by far is as comprehensive as it can get. It starts from Bible and gradully leads to the timeline and the era's in poetry.........still reading!!!

p.s. the above photograph was taken by me.................

8 habits of Highly Effective People

So i am right now in some revealing mood so let me tell you 8 nasty habits i have. Everybody have some so do i ......unfortunately they arent nasty enuf to qualify me a member of mental asylum!!!!!! But they are irksome enuf to have pretty normal people sceptic about my mental health. Here are some of them 8 to be counted on fingers

1. I'm really paranoid about my mobile phones, keys, wallet etc. i carry, so much so, that almost every minute my hand revolves around my right and left pocket (mobiles in left pocket and keys etc. in right) and on my butt pocket (home to my wallet) to check if everything is in place.

2. This isn't exactly masochism but i developed this habit in hostel where i used to burn my wrists with a ciggarette lighter until i couldn't take it anymore. Had to abondon so that the wounds could heal before i my bon voyage to home.

3. Besides burning myself up i love to see other things in flame too. I have been burning piles of dead leaves near my home with a religious zeal. Hostel gave me a new thing to burn: Newspapers!! Bundles of old newspapers dumped in the corridor made a good fuel.

4. This is a really nasty one but as they say "old habits die hard! ". I never ever think twice before putting clothes on. But it has a philosophy behind it, i believe people wear "attention-grabbing" clothing because they are dull inside and their lives are pathetically boring. It's only skin deep exiting. It's like make-up people apply to tell themselves they are beautiful.

5. Living in dark. I almost resent bright rooms, curtains are by rule always drawn. I avoid moving out in bright daylight too. Mostly it's the twilight (dawn or dusk) which i love the most. Brightness hurts, darkness engulfs.

6. I hate listening music in the background. Now this almost makes me tear my hair apart i cant tolerate music (radio or cd player) playing even mildly because often enough i am engrossed in doing some work(reading newspaper or burning hands) and with constant music playing in the room i get really really pissed off.

7.I prefer no-food to bad-food. Unsuprisingly when we were on school trip to goa i survived on Glucon-D and fast foods. The food sponsored by the travel agent was never an option for me. In hostel too days pass off without a meal and the mess eagerly waits for my arrival.

8.Killing all creepy-crappy creatures. It includes all dirty fellas with 4 legs or more are mercilessly crushed by my feet, better still they are killed slowly as i dissect them taking their legs, wings, torso apart as they wither in pain and anguish. Actually i kill them with a BANG!

Keep Walking

There's a fact and i dont know you may like it or loathe it but the fact is LIFE MOVES ON. With or without you... nothing they say ever stays the same. Life moves a full circle what goes up comes down and of course vica-versa. No two leafs are the same neither i guess any two moments. Each moment life rejuvenates itself re-orients itself. Each second, each moment your past dies each moment you have an option of letting go of the past no matter how painful or glorious it is. That part of your life is over. Its finished.

You don't let go of all your memories so much so that memories become your escapade you take refuge there its your small dingy safe cave. There's a world out there waiting to be explored but only a few people have the courage to let go of all the burden of memories and set out on an unchartered territory. They start again from the very A B C just like small children who dont have long memories neither do they think about the past.

Do you have the courage to forget everything you know?? Do you have the courage to forget everything you think you know about life about you and me??

Therefore I Am

I am what I am
Crazy, maverick,bizzare,
Some of the pronouns
I've docked in my ham.

I ain't what you think I am
I'm just me
Unaware of norms of society
Unwilling to follow your "Almighty".

All the strange places I've tread
And the outlandish thoughts I've read
Makes me see your world upside down instead
My only treasure is the thought in my head.

I'm my own teacher
I'm my own race
I ain't just a face in the crowd.
I am me.Neither humble nor proud.

Conspiracy

Evil minds unite
Common goal in sight
A lethal Conspiracy is hatched
Soon Prince power will be snatched
Prince promised on his father's grave
The kingdom shall reign in grace
Daggers and Stabbers thirsty for his blood
An 800-year old name shall lay in mud
Common people remain unaware
An unimaginable grief they'll have to share
Uneasy silence fills the palace
Walls know the secret but shall never say.

Bubble Of Good Times

You have no idea how hard i've tried
No idea about the number of thorns
I've walked on
This smile of mine is just a facade
No idea you have it hides a fighting rage
I've been walking on the razor's edge
Come closer, touch me, heal me.
I've been running, running in circles
My guiding star seems so hazy
I've seen bubble of good times bursting

Stumbling blocks and iron locks
Invincible peaks, abyss of dark valleys
Known 'em all and known my callous fate
I secede, I Recede, I let go.
Colossol faith in myself -not anymore
Bruises all over I'm in a state of
eternal damnation
Butcher my body Burn my soul
Rhapsody of grief penetrates Whole.

What goes around comes around.

i can see the light now
at the end of the tunnel
all the darkness i have been thro'
seems worth
my pupils shrink
the glare of the sun
so strong, so fascinating.

the darkness i thought
was my fate
the sun i thought
would never be mine
But
seasons come, seasons go
winter's gone
can spring be far behind?

the darkest hour they said
was before the dawn
they seem to make sense
for i can see
the colours of life's spectrum
i never knew, existed.

Butterfly Effect

Ari disconnected the call. He couldn't speak further. His voice was choking. This he knew was the last-ever call from Nikita.The conversation was more of a monologue of Nikita than a two-wat communication. Her words passed into his ears as a dagger would pierce his flesh. The phone dropped from his hand and so his world.

His whole world crashed. Not even tears could flow in his eyes. The tears were too minute an expression to the sadnees he had encountered.He now knew what death was.Inside him everything fell silent, not even a thought moved.He had lost the power to think.Something was missing, rather almost everything was missing.She was the only reason he was, she was all his reasons.

He didn't want the whole world, there was no place he'd rather want than a little place in her heart. Just a little. He wanted to faint and wake up and be told that it was a very very bad dream. Unfortunately it was all so real.

Ari's chest turned into a store-house of pain, the infinte source of love had now turned into a pain producing machine. The very cliff feeling, that he was loved- that he was accepted made him feel that he could conquer the world, was gone.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Ari was a person who never frowned but now here he was breaking down. He screamed once, twice............. for an hour. Hysterical wails which would have even scared the beasts. A strong sensation of pain filled all the nerves of his brain. It was more maddening than madness. He was madness personified.

He ran towards his closet, unlocked it, only to find the gifts and cards Nikita had presented her. He took the cards and burned them down with his lighter. The cards and letters were his life's most precious possessions, not anymore.He then took out a small statue of two angels hugging each other in a deep moment of love, he flung the statue towards the wall with a strong hand. The statue broke to pieces a million pieces that scattered on the ground.

He was mad or madness was him was anybody's guess. If he could he would have burned the whole world.There was a whirlwind inside his head.It's only a matter of time when every bit and byte of tour "true eternal" love transforms into hate. Ari discovered.

It was a crucification and a resurrection for Ari. He lost all hope. He now knew that losing all hope was freedom . And then...... something happened, he let go. Lost in oblivion-dark and silent and complete , he found freedom.

Its only after we have lost everything that we're free to do anything.

A death turned out to be a rebirth. As if all this has been the birth pangs of a birth of a new child. He wondered if Nikita had even an iota of idea of what he was going through.................






















ok i am too tired now cant write anymore the rest of the stori goes lik this:
ari turns psycho-kills nikita-goes to jail-meets new criminals-joins a gang-rules the underworld-finally gets encountered...... a nice normal guys turned into a mafia.

They call this Butterfly Effect. It says that something as small as a flutter of a butterfly can cause a typhoon in another part of the world.

Whatever i do

Whatever I do, will remain undone
Whatever I say, will remain unsaid
Nobody can guess what’s going on in my head
Abyss of emptiness in my chest
This is the pain of nothingness
Trying to live life in oblivion
Slowly learning the fact
That everything around is unreal
This is the biggest lie you are ever told
That your life is in your control.

Walking alone in the maze
No longer do I have dreams to chase
No more running in the rat race
Who am I? Why am I here?
I ain’t no need no soothsayer
Where is my life?
Is it going the Right way or Wrong?
I have no idea as I write this song
This is a lone journey I must travel along
It’s the spirit, not me, that keeps going on.

Love The Sinner

Look at the face of the fellas
Look how he looks jealous,
I’m really really the centre of the fuss
God isn’t just,
I have everything you are a carcass.
Got it baby
So now hating me is a must
God’s busy and I won’t help you
Gotta go fellas find a shelter soon,
I’m your devil with a spoon
Hate me fellas
My heart gives a Boom.

You love him, you hate him
You love to hate him,
I have in plenty what you’re chasing
Blame me for what you’re facing.

Hate me, Berate me, Vilify me
Go spread some rumor
I am as lovely as your own tumor
Ha! Ha! I got a better sense of humor.
You only know a thing about me
And you hate me so much,
If I tell you all about me
Which dagger will you be using then?
Jealousy
You want to create a fight scene?
I’ve got joie de vivre
I have got a good side u won’t be seeing.