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| मॉन्स्टर एंड मॉन्स्टर !!! |
You know
this is the age of Facebook girls upload their pics on fb and then guys check
out and save them in their computer. More the pics uploaded by them more the
saving frequency by boys. Then for classification purposes they get separated
in folder name wise. So one there is a girl uploading her pics online and here
boys are saving her pics offline folder wise name wise. So you open a New
Folder and then it has sub-folders starting from girls with A and so on and so
forth.
So a girl’s
every activity, mood, party, trip, weekend is suitably quantified and
qualified. You know what she’s listening to, which restaurant she’s having
dinner at, which people she’s spending her weekend with. Stalking at your
laptop screen you just have to “Log in”!! Big Brother doesn't have to do
anything here we are willingly standing in queue knocking at his door telling
him our every minute-est detail of our life. Well we can have George Orwell
discussion time someday else.
But then
there were the 90’s where only information you could have about the girl was
through a tiny little colored book called “Slam Book”. The usual protocol was
that you used to get in filled when you are leaving the school or somebody is
leaving and you get it filled from him/her. A is friend with B who is friend
with L who is closed friend with W and A has a crush on W and wants to
know/research on his subject the only way he can get such written authoritative
information was through “Slam Book”. If W has filled slam books of say L,G and
R. A will try getting hold of all the slam books “by any means necessary. You
know they say in साम, दाम , दंड , भेद !!!
I was just
in junior school when we were playing our innocent game of chuppan-chuppai and
I was hiding in a secluded spot when I heard two guys from senior section
trading a slam book to get insider-info about a girl. It was like a deal
between gangsters exchanging stolen diamonds. It was something like this:
Boy 1:
Hmmmm.. So is it done?
Boy 2:
Yeahh.. you know I’m on talking terms with her.. She was a little reluctant at
first but then I pushed it..
Boy 1: Yeah
yeah. Did she suspect anything?
Boy 2: Naah
Naah.. I got it filled with almost 10 people before her including 2 other
girls.
Boy 1: Did
she ask you as to why you were getting it filled?
Boy 2: Yeahh
she was suspicious. It’s only middle of the term our session is far from over I
just said “Zindagi ka kya bharosa”.. hahahaha.. smart no?
Boy 1:
IDIOT. Should have just said that your b’day is coming and you are getting it
filled by all your close friends.
The deal was
struck and the slambook exchanged hands. The slambook contained the whole
character sketch of the girl. You know from the address (if she has given that)
to her Dream Date (which hero/actor she prefers) her friends (the social circle
which has to be acquainted with) her favourite movies, her favourite TV shows
(which invariably always included F.R.I.E.N.D.S) her, favourite food, best
moment of her life, this and that but the most important entry was “Love
is____________” or “Love to me means_____________”. This single entry was the
most significant in assessing the compatibility of the applicant with the girl.
See if a
girl writes
1. Love is a FOUR
letter word.
Assessment: Very cold girl with
very less chances of success or she pretends to be cold.
2. Love is
something I’m not interest/who knows, who cares?/ We’re too young.
Assessment:
This was usually filled by girls who already knew they had 0.00% chances.
3. Love is a
beautiful feeling shared by two souls.. (blah blah on those line)
Assessment: This is a jackpot. She is the dreamy type. She usually thinks of finding her
knight in shining
armour. She’s open to relationships. She’s the one target you
have to lock.
Alas! Those
were the days!! It’s like connecting dots which you have to connect the dots to
make out the mental sketch of your “crush” and then device your strategy
accordingly. All information was always through other people.
Boy X: भाई I saw her yday with her family in the market at xyz shop. She was wearing red colour top with mickey mouse on it and a dark blue jeans with black sandals.
Boy Y: भाई my friend lives near her house. He saw her in the evening on the rooftop
wearing a yellow kurta and white pyjama and chappal. She was talking for whole
45 minutes on the phone. All the time laughing and giggling.
Boy Z: भाई I went to a wedding yday she had come there wearing an orange saree. She was
really looking wonderful. Nice choice bhai you are really lucky. She is very
nice girl didn’t talk to any guy. She was with her mother all the time.
All this is
when the girl doesn’t even know who this "भाई" character is or if he’s alive,
he exists or not!
Good ole’
times of the slam book!
