Monday, April 23, 2007

What goes around comes around.

i can see the light now
at the end of the tunnel
all the darkness i have been thro'
seems worth
my pupils shrink
the glare of the sun
so strong, so fascinating.

the darkness i thought
was my fate
the sun i thought
would never be mine
seasons come, seasons go
winter's gone
can spring be far behind?

the darkest hour they said
was before the dawn
they seem to make sense
for i can see
the colours of life's spectrum
i never knew, existed.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Butterfly Effect

Ari disconnected the call. He couldn't speak further. His voice was choking. This he knew was the last-ever call from Nikita.The conversation was more of a monologue of Nikita than a two-wat communication. Her words passed into his ears as a dagger would pierce his flesh. The phone dropped from his hand and so his world.

His whole world crashed. Not even tears could flow in his eyes. The tears were too minute an expression to the sadnees he had encountered.He now knew what death was.Inside him everything fell silent, not even a thought moved.He had lost the power to think.Something was missing, rather almost everything was missing.She was the only reason he was, she was all his reasons.

He didn't want the whole world, there was no place he'd rather want than a little place in her heart. Just a little. He wanted to faint and wake up and be told that it was a very very bad dream. Unfortunately it was all so real.

Ari's chest turned into a store-house of pain, the infinte source of love had now turned into a pain producing machine. The very cliff feeling, that he was loved- that he was accepted made him feel that he could conquer the world, was gone.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Ari was a person who never frowned but now here he was breaking down. He screamed once, twice............. for an hour. Hysterical wails which would have even scared the beasts. A strong sensation of pain filled all the nerves of his brain. It was more maddening than madness. He was madness personified.

He ran towards his closet, unlocked it, only to find the gifts and cards Nikita had presented her. He took the cards and burned them down with his lighter. The cards and letters were his life's most precious possessions, not anymore.He then took out a small statue of two angels hugging each other in a deep moment of love, he flung the statue towards the wall with a strong hand. The statue broke to pieces a million pieces that scattered on the ground.

He was mad or madness was him was anybody's guess. If he could he would have burned the whole world.There was a whirlwind inside his head.It's only a matter of time when every bit and byte of tour "true eternal" love transforms into hate. Ari discovered.

It was a crucification and a resurrection for Ari. He lost all hope. He now knew that losing all hope was freedom . And then...... something happened, he let go. Lost in oblivion-dark and silent and complete , he found freedom.

Its only after we have lost everything that we're free to do anything.

A death turned out to be a rebirth. As if all this has been the birth pangs of a birth of a new child. He wondered if Nikita had even an iota of idea of what he was going through.................

ok i am too tired now cant write anymore the rest of the stori goes lik this:
ari turns psycho-kills nikita-goes to jail-meets new criminals-joins a gang-rules the underworld-finally gets encountered...... a nice normal guys turned into a mafia.

They call this Butterfly Effect. It says that something as small as a flutter of a butterfly can cause a typhoon in another part of the world.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Whatever i do

Whatever I do, will remain undone
Whatever I say, will remain unsaid
Nobody can guess what’s going on in my head
Abyss of emptiness in my chest
This is the pain of nothingness
Trying to live life in oblivion
Slowly learning the fact
That everything around is unreal
This is the biggest lie you are ever told
That your life is in your control.

Walking alone in the maze
No longer do I have dreams to chase
No more running in the rat race
Who am I? Why am I here?
I ain’t no need no soothsayer
Where is my life?
Is it going the Right way or Wrong?
I have no idea as I write this song
This is a lone journey I must travel along
It’s the spirit, not me, that keeps going on.

Love The Sinner

Look at the face of the fellas
Look how he looks jealous,
I’m really really the centre of the fuss
God isn’t just,
I have everything you are a carcass.
Got it baby
So now hating me is a must
God’s busy and I won’t help you
Gotta go fellas find a shelter soon,
I’m your devil with a spoon
Hate me fellas
My heart gives a Boom.

You love him, you hate him
You love to hate him,
I have in plenty what you’re chasing
Blame me for what you’re facing.

Hate me, Berate me, Vilify me
Go spread some rumor
I am as lovely as your own tumor
Ha! Ha! I got a better sense of humor.
You only know a thing about me
And you hate me so much,
If I tell you all about me
Which dagger will you be using then?
You want to create a fight scene?
I’ve got joie de vivre
I have got a good side u won’t be seeing.