Sunday, July 21, 2013


मॉन्स्टर एंड मॉन्स्टर !!!
You know this is the age of Facebook girls upload their pics on fb and then guys check out and save them in their computer. More the pics uploaded by them more the saving frequency by boys. Then for classification purposes they get separated in folder name wise. So one there is a girl uploading her pics online and here boys are saving her pics offline folder wise name wise. So you open a New Folder and then it has sub-folders starting from girls with A and so on and so forth.

So a girl’s every activity, mood, party, trip, weekend is suitably quantified and qualified. You know what she’s listening to, which restaurant she’s having dinner at, which people she’s spending her weekend with. Stalking at your laptop screen you just have to “Log in”!! Big Brother doesn't have to do anything here we are willingly standing in queue knocking at his door telling him our every minute-est detail of our life. Well we can have George Orwell discussion time someday else.

But then there were the 90’s where only information you could have about the girl was through a tiny little colored book called “Slam Book”. The usual protocol was that you used to get in filled when you are leaving the school or somebody is leaving and you get it filled from him/her. A is friend with B who is friend with L who is closed friend with W and A has a crush on W and wants to know/research on his subject the only way he can get such written authoritative information was through “Slam Book”. If W has filled slam books of say L,G and R. A will try getting hold of all the slam books “by any means necessary. You know they say in साम, दाम , दंड , भेद !!!

I was just in junior school when we were playing our innocent game of chuppan-chuppai and I was hiding in a secluded spot when I heard two guys from senior section trading a slam book to get insider-info about a girl. It was like a deal between gangsters exchanging stolen diamonds. It was something like this:

Boy 1: Hmmmm.. So is it done?
Boy 2: Yeahh.. you know I’m on talking terms with her.. She was a little reluctant at first but then I pushed it..
Boy 1: Yeah yeah. Did she suspect anything?
Boy 2: Naah Naah.. I got it filled with almost 10 people before her including 2 other girls.
Boy 1: Did she ask you as to why you were getting it filled?
Boy 2: Yeahh she was suspicious. It’s only middle of the term our session is far from over I just said “Zindagi ka kya bharosa”.. hahahaha.. smart no?
Boy 1: IDIOT. Should have just said that your b’day is coming and you are getting it filled by all your close friends.

The deal was struck and the slambook exchanged hands. The slambook contained the whole character sketch of the girl. You know from the address (if she has given that) to her Dream Date (which hero/actor she prefers) her friends (the social circle which has to be acquainted with) her favourite movies, her favourite TV shows (which invariably always included F.R.I.E.N.D.S) her, favourite food, best moment of her life, this and that but the most important entry was “Love is____________” or “Love to me means_____________”. This single entry was the most significant in assessing the compatibility of the applicant with the girl.

See if a girl writes

1. Love is a FOUR letter word.
Assessment: Very cold girl with very less chances of success or she pretends to be cold.

2. Love is something I’m not interest/who knows, who cares?/ We’re too young.
Assessment: This was usually filled by girls who already knew they had 0.00% chances.

3. Love is a beautiful feeling shared by two souls.. (blah blah on those line)
Assessment: This is a jackpot. She is the dreamy type. She usually thinks of finding her knight in shining 
armour. She’s open to relationships. She’s the one target you have to lock.

Alas! Those were the days!! It’s like connecting dots which you have to connect the dots to make out the mental sketch of your “crush” and then device your strategy accordingly. All information was always through other people.

Boy X: भाई I saw her yday with her family in the market at xyz shop. She was wearing red colour top with mickey mouse on it and a dark blue jeans with black sandals.

Boy Y: भाई my friend lives near her house. He saw her in the evening on the rooftop wearing a yellow kurta and white pyjama and chappal. She was talking for whole 45 minutes on the phone. All the time laughing and giggling.

Boy Z: भाई I went to a wedding yday she had come there wearing an orange saree. She was really looking wonderful. Nice choice bhai you are really lucky. She is very nice girl didn’t talk to any guy. She was with her mother all the time.

All this is when the girl doesn’t even know who this "भाई"  character is or if he’s alive, he exists or not!

Good ole’ times of the slam book!


Richa Singh said...

That X Y Z is all true!! It happens bacha loh it happens. I have done it for girls as well. Giving nonsensical info on their crushes. As for that line "Zindagi ka kya bharosa" I have a feeling that guys was you :P

Total fun read :D

Anonymous said...

Funny but true :D