Not A Movie Review: Go Goa Gone

You see my parents usually adore the movies I recommend to them. They have full faith in the movies that I tell them to watch. The list of such movies is few and includes both of English (including Final Destination 5 and The Inglorious Busterds among others) and Hindi. My parent’s movie calendar is usually over-shadowed by their social calendar and the few movies they watch based on nice promos and blitzkrieg marketing campaigns often turn out to be torture sessions.

Being an ardent fan of Zombie literature and movies it was no doubt super-exciting to have zombies in India. Level 10 comics had bought Zombies to Bangalore in The Rabhas Incident and Samit Basu bought them to Delhi in Unholi. This was their debut on the Indian big screen for the first time and that too in Goa. 

Since it was more of a Zombie comedy (or a Zom-Com) I thought it was perfectly harmless to recommend the movie to my parents. (It was the first movie that I recommended without seeing- Zombie prem!!). They eventually did manage to follow my suggestion as usual and ended up calling me in a horrified state.

Dad: Hello son

Me: how waz the movie????

Dad: seriously why was this movie recommended to “US”? 

Me: you know zombies in India and such cool stuff

Dad: that's ok but...

Me: *thinks something is fishy*

Me: ummm.. I haven't watched the movie dad. I just saw the promos.

Dad: phew.. Really? U havent seen it? Good Heavens! 

Me: *thinks I need to see the movie*

Finally after seeing World War Z, I was lamenting how I missed the first Indian Zombie movie which even my parents have seen. As fate would have it I got a chance to see the movie (I dare not mention the pirated downloaded version it was). And I saw the movie through my parents eyes *sadly*.

First about the Girl: A character sketch- She sees this dude naked in swimming pool and mind you she has a good look at his.. well..., winks at him makes fun of him and of-course is not at all embarrassed when the guy tries to put his swimming trunk on, standing next to her. Then she invites the dudes to a rave party organised by Russian Mafia on a lonely island full of drugs and booze, meets this guy again and asks him if he wants to go out somewhere. They go out someplace lonely near a beach, now what ideally should happen is what happens in every English movie : Ding-Dong-Sing-Along all night. But no here the bhartiya naari in the girl emerges like Jhansi ki Rani when the guy tries to kiss her and he gets a long lecture on morality. Okk another scene she is surrounded by 5 guys almost all unknown to her till recently, Saif Ali Khan asks her to take off her clothes to check if he’s infected and ohh yes she does that in half a second with a little formal hesitation. No problem in that, but when dudes try to hit on her when she’s sleeping alone there there again a big Moral Lecture for the dudes. Either the lady is Schizophrenic or the director could not afford her fees for the more intimate scenes.

Director: Okk in this scene you’ll have sex

Girl: Ohh really? I’m leaving that’s it pay me 10 times more for this scene or re-shoot with another woman.

Director: Damn! Okk change in script.. you refuse sex boldly. Act convincingly..

Girl: You bet on that..

Well among other things after seeing the movie I’m not pretty sure if Goa lies in Republic of India jurisdiction or if there Russians have taken over our tiny state.

Meet the Indian Zombies: Well I should say I was pretty impressed by the Zombies in the movie.. They didn’t turn out to be the poor man’s zombie (you know the Ramsay Brothers type evil-dead’s) but they turned out to be very well dressed and with just the right amount of make-up. Very convincing! Almost as good as we see in any Hollywood movie. Hats-off to that.  Moreover only the firangis were shown as Zombies so it didn't look creepy at all.

Generally speaking: Movie is filled with sexual innuendos and yeah drugs everywhere. Pot culture, sex, curse words and Bikini Babes it has almost everything that will make an Indian Parent’s worst nightmare so my parents have seen the worst of Indian youth may be they believe that is what happens in Corporate India. This of course is a good thing! My parents must be now thinking how their own son is on the safer side on the Indian Youth decency curve!

They must be thinking:

“He’s got issues of buying too many toys, comics and books so he hardly has any money left for those expensive drugs, expensive Goa trips or paying the expenses of maintaining a hot girlfriend. Our son is safe from these evils!”   

Hi5!!! Goal Achieved.